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The fog has cleared - tri•bo•lu•mi•nes•cence
luminescence due to friction
The fog has cleared
Things have been going well, lately. Very well. I got my residency sorted out at school (that was a big issue) and am now scheduled for summer classes. And it sounds like, according to the guidance counselors, that virtually all my transfer pre-reqs will be accepted. I could be done with my AA by end of spring semester next year. They’re still processing financial aid forms so I haven’t gotten the ‘offer’ yet.
A few weeks ago I saw a short video by some navy admiral talking about the importance of making your bed. In the military they really focus on that, and it sounds soo stupid. But he then explained how, when you make your bed, you start your day with something productive, and that productivity can carry you through your day. And if you have a stressful day, you get to come home to a made bed. I have never been one to make my bed. But ever since then I’ve made my bed every day and also open the curtains to let natural light in. I find I feel more like being productive with natural light (my usual lamp light set up has me feeling more relaxed). I’ve found an unforeseen ‘side effect’ in that I’ve kept my room a lot cleaner. Basically, it’s really hard to have a dirty room when you have a made bed, so I’d end up picking up or organizing a thing or two here and there each day. And now, using the ‘touch it once’ philosophy, I’ve even kept a clean desk.
It sounds really dumb, but the simple things sometimes carry you the furthest. I’ve started studying Japanese, too. Really.. just because it interests me. It’s not really relevant to my life or particularly useful for me, but it’s where my current interest is, so I decided to go along with that and make the best of it. German would be better and Spanish better still, but I’m not as interested in those, and since interest is all I’m basing it on, I’m going on that. A few times I’ve told myself, “Bahh, this is stupid. I’ll never use it.” But I’m still carrying on, basically because I kind of want to finish what I start—or at least push it to a higher level than I have in the past. I’d love to be bilingual, and which language doesn’t really matter. Though it is interesting that the most useful one (Spanish) interests me the least.
I go through phases in life where for a week or three I’ll feel happy/productive/interested, and then it fades and I find myself back in the usual listless rut I’ve established. I’ve found myself several times already slipping back to that, but so far have been able to notice it and re-focus myself. I don’t know how long this phase will last and I’m not really concerning myself with it. I’m just making the best of it while I can, one day at a time. And I’m feeling pretty jazzed about going back to school.
I've also started an online math course to refresh my knowledge about that. I'll have to take an entrance exam so they'll know where to place me, and the higher I score the fewer remedial courses I'll have to take, which equates to less time and less money spent. There's a few other courses I've been looking at too that I'm thinking of going through to prepare me for those classes.

Sometimes I write really good entries, and sometimes I write like a high school freshman in remedial English. This appears to be the latter.

Current Music: "On hold" music from the IRS

7 Punk Rockers or Play a lick ♫
From: (Anonymous) Date: July 23rd, 2015 08:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

Don't be silly. You write as fluently and as saliently as you always have.
slowforward From: slowforward Date: August 9th, 2015 08:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
you're still here :p
webb21 From: webb21 Date: August 9th, 2015 09:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
I appear from time to time, remind myself I exist and that there is life, then slip back into the lethargy.
slowforward From: slowforward Date: December 13th, 2015 02:11 am (UTC) (Link)
hi friend
webb21 From: webb21 Date: January 28th, 2016 08:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
I want your contact info
lobstermagnet From: lobstermagnet Date: January 27th, 2016 08:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
I just ran across an old comment you left me last year and it was one of the most beautifully written things that had ever graced my little livejournal. I know you were trying to write more and this entry seems so hopeful that I can't help but wonder if you'll come back. I hope you do.

webb21 From: webb21 Date: January 28th, 2016 08:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
I got wicked swag and sometimes spread my style to other places.

I can't ever seem to put thoughts to paper like I used to. I can communicate through text (I've always been better at that than at speech), but sitting down and writing... I get maybe a sentence then become frustrated and get a mental block or feel anxious and want to distract myself with something else. And that's when I can even think of something to say. Most of the time I can't think of anything or question the point of any of it. "Is this really worth writing about?" is the premature death of many an entry. I don't even post status updates to Facebook except for one or two lines (usually something crass or some stupid bit of humor) a week. "I don't get what people are so upset about. I think Donald Trump is a great comedian."

And so on.
7 Punk Rockers or Play a lick ♫