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God is a Ninja - tri•bo•lu•mi•nes•cence
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webb21
webb21
God is a Ninja
Alright so, this is long but it's important.

I’d like to weigh in on the Pirates vs. Ninjas debate. But to appreciate my point, we need to first turn to the nature of science.

See, science works by observation. You observe something, your observations take on a certain pattern, and from that you begin to deduce certain conclusions:

“Hmm. When I touch this bright red coil on the stove, it burns me.”
“It did it again.”
“And again.”
“And again.”
“Conclusion: this bright red coil is hot and I ought not touch it. Also, I’m probably an idiot. But I ♥ science so that’s ok.”

The problem science has with God is we cannot observe God; there are no phenomena that occur in nature attributed to God that we cannot—scientifically, thanks to Occam’s razor—better attribute to something else. You know that is a true sentence because it has a semi-colon, and only smart people use semi-colons, and smart people know what they are talking about.

God made the sun? Okay, you can believe that on your faith, but scientifically it’s a big 'ole ball of hydrogen, helium and unicorn piss. We know cause that’s what we observe.

God created Man on the nth day? Okay, you can believe that on your faith. That’s okay. But... based on our observations, the best argument appears to be man evolved from some other creature (no, not monkeys). That’s what the fossil record seems to suggest.
It’s just science.

God, of course, cannot by definition be observed. God cannot even really be defined, because to define means to make finite, and finite and infinite are mutually exclusive. That’s why there’s no Proof with a capital P for the existence of God: to Prove It would disprove it, and you’re back to square one. You cannot Prove infinite exists, because you can never observe infinite. Count to infinite, and you’ll be the first person to be able to Prove the existence of God (so, so far, only Chuck Norris knows the answer to life’s Greatest Question).

Now let's see you see some guy standing on the corner. He’s just some bloke standing there. He might be a nice guy or he might be a dick, I don't care. Ask him for a buck, bum a smoke or keep on walking. Whatever.

Now if that guy were a ninja, you wouldn't see him, because if you could see him, he wouldn't be a ninja. Ninjas are, by definition, unobservable. Because they're friggen ninjas! The guy can CLAIM to be a ninja, but he could also be a damn liar. I wouldn't trust the smokes he gives you. And the dollar is probably stolen.
Sure, you might hear something behind you. You'll think you saw something in the corner of your eye. Something ends up broken. Someone ends up dead. You can attribute all this to ninjas and you can take that on faith, but scientifically the ninja has not been observed so it can't be proven. Maybe it was a ghost. Maybe it was a cat. Maybe the dead guy assassinated himself. Maybe it was a pirate.
It may have been a ninja, but you can't prove it was a ninja.

So I guess... I guess that means ninjas are God? Maybe that depends on what your religious persuasion is:

Hindu: Ninjas are Gods
Jewish/Muslim: God is a Ninja
Christian: God is a Ninja that has mastered 3 martial arts

So to the original question: Is there any doubt? Come on. Are pirates better than God(s)?

I don't think so.

I'm feelin': amused amused

1 Punk Rocker or Play a lick ♫
Comments
From: (Anonymous) Date: October 25th, 2014 02:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
Happy Birthday, friend.
1 Punk Rocker or Play a lick ♫